I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
