I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
