This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
