so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
