the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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