: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
