nutella sex= disaster
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
They are going to name an STD after you.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
