That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
