Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
