My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize