drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
