Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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