we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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