Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
