sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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