so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
