I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
