how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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