Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He did a backflip because drugs
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
