real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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