you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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