i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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