So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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