dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
whose parrot is this?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
