Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
God I need to hump something, right now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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