I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
