you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Everyone says I win the strip club
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
