Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Dear god my vagina.
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