They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
