I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
