All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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