Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
