if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
