I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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