There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
