I need help removing her.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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