i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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