Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
