Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
