and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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