do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
