google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
