You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
