I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
