Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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