put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
