what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
