Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
