i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
