It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
